I am not your perfect butterfly (well, technically it’s a moth…)

This beautiful moth visited my garden one afternoon and I couldn’t help taking its picture. Not because it would be featured in a science journal, in a museum or on anyone’s wall as art (except my own wall)  but, as you can see from the photograph, because the moth is missing the lower portion of a wing. I thought a lot about that moth as I watched it moving among my plants and flowers. Surely the moth was aware that it had been somewhat crippled by the damaged wing, but it still fluttered about easily. It did not hide in the shadows afraid of being seen, but opened its wings to the sun to refuel with solar energy. It flew gracefully from plant to plant and did all the things that it was designed to do. It didn’t seem to freak out at the realization that it was not whole or perfect.

As I was journeying from that place of sleep to awakeness this morning, I was reminded of this photo. I thought about that moth and was reminded yet again of how my body fails me. I will never grace the pages of Vogue, Ladies Home Journal, Redbook, Vanity Fair…I do not have that “perfect” skin or figure or anything else…I am a flawed person in so many ways. But more important than my graying hair, my crow’s feet, or any other external features I may possess or lack, is the condition of my inner being. Who is taking care of that? I started thinking about so many choices that have been made through the years, and how many choices still remain about how I am going to care for that inner part of me that only God can see.

That inner being is the real me. Not what people look at or touch. It is that part of me that makes me who I am today and who I will ultimately become. The way I take care of that part of me will make a huge impact on what kind of old woman I will become. I have the choice to age with grace or age as a grouch; to be characterized as a woman with inner beauty or be nearsightedly focused on the irrelevant (and given how poor my vision is, that isn’t a good idea); to allow that sweetness that comes with the acceptance of mellowing and tempering to pierce through what would otherwise be my terribly tough skin.

I want to be just like that moth–free to be what God intended, with the fruit of His Spirit flowing out of me. When people look at me, I want them to see His beauty. I want to be that woman that always smiles and doesn’t fear the future because she can trust God utterly, no matter what. After so many years of being molded like a piece of clay, I hope I am becoming more easily molded into something of worth. My prayer is that my Potter is finding me more responsive to His touch. May I truly represent HIM to the world around me in a way that draws in and doesn’t push away.


11 thoughts on “I am not your perfect butterfly (well, technically it’s a moth…)

  1. Beautiful post . . . You give of yourself so freely and honestly. I cannot help but feel like I know you as I read your thoughts and feelings.

    “That inner being is the real me. Not what people look at or touch. It is that part of me that makes me who I am today and who I will ultimately become.”

    I love this. I love it so very much. You understand that God is still working on you, every day, every minute, He is shaping you into more of Him.

    • It really is the journey of a lifetime, isn’t it? I am so thankful that God continues that which He has begun…if I were Him, I’d already be worn out, wrung out and hung out to dry! I hope to be that Proverbs 31 woman who smiles at the future (in my case…laughs at it) because I KNOW that God will be successful in His plans for me. And I can say WOO HOO to that!!!

  2. I turned 68 a few weeks ago and marvel at how many people complement me on my “beauty.” I look in the mirror and see a very grandmotherly body and wonder why people sat that. But then, I know that what they are really seeing is the peace and joy I have found in these later years. A contentment and delight in life, an unbreakable faith, and an assurance that I am Beloved by our Creator. Surely that would make one beautiful! I love your post and look forward to exploring your blog more. Thanks for visiting Source of Inspiration and leaving bread crumbs so I could find you. Hugs, pat

    • Thank you for the kind comment. I am new to the blog world but feel like I have joined a whole new community of close friends. I look forward to getting to know you better via your site and posts.

    • there is no such thing as “only a college student”…i went back to school when my oldest was a sophomore in high school–graduated just ahead of her! welcome to my imperfect but growing in spite of myself world!

  3. I realiaze the secret of true contentment is living the life God has chosen for me, Trusting that it is right. I’m now having the time of my life.

  4. I love this! I like your picture of the imperfect moth and I also don’t want to be so concerned about outward appearances, but rather simply to love Jesus and to live for Him and because of Him and that people would see Jesus in me. God Bless, Lori

    • the beauty in that scarred moth struck me and as i thought even more about it, won’t the scars of our Savior be so very much more precious to us knowing that it was because of His great love for us. overwhelming

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